Have you ever wondered why some of you are not happy, or having feelings of anger and impatience, or feelings of resentment in your life? We could come up with so many possibilities of why some of us are feeling this way, but one reason which seems to crop up among many of us is that we want and need to be in control. We struggle to be in control even from our earliest years. As babies, we cry or bawl away, so that our parents would feed us or hold us to comfort us. As toddlers and as a child, some of us may have thrown tantrums, screamed, refused to do what we are told, or even being nice or behaving well, with the hope that we would get something in return. Even as adults, we try to get our way and be in control through our words and actions. Some of us even become control freaks, and try to control everything, including our spouse, our children, those who work for us, and many others, expecting them to conform to our ways and our demands.
But the truth is, we are not, never and shall never be in control, since God is ultimately in control. In today’s Gospel, Peter thought he was in control when he tried to go back to his old job fishing, but even in that, he fared badly, as he was not in control and failed to catch any fish. It was only when Jesus helped that he was able to catch so many fish. Also, the Gospel tells us that Jesus said to Peter: “when you were young you put on your own belt and walked where you liked; but when you grow old you will stretch out your hands, and somebody else will put a belt round you and take you where you would rather not go.” This shows that Peter was not in control of his destiny, and control actually lies with God. Moreover in the first reading, Peter and the apostles reminded the High Priest and the Sanhedrin that God is in control when they said, “Obedience to God comes before obedience to men.” The High Priest and the Sanhedrin could only warn the apostles not to speak in the name of Jesus and released them, but they had no control over the apostles, since the apostles were under God’s control and doing His will.
This is why we should not allow ourselves to become egoistic or proud of our abilities, achievements and talent. The fact is that we are not in control, since we need the grace and strength of God to be able to do all that we do. This is what discipleship is all about: by being at God’s service, by listening to Jesus and be always ready to do God’s will, not ours. We are called to follow Him, to place our lives into His hands and let Him take control of our lives. May we be humble and willing to let go of the need to be in control of our lives and of others, and let God be in control, knowing that He will help and guide us to all we can be, for His glory.